Some people say that Japan should improve relations with other Asian nations such as South Korea, North Korea, and China. However, I think that is not the Japanese government’s priority. Rather, our nation’s priority should be the relationship with the U.S. and so on.
First, it is impossible to have good relationships with non-democratic countries. One of communist party’s main purposes is to destroy capitalism. China and North Korea are not only communist countries but also countries dominated by one political group or a dictator. Their animosity toward Japan is caused by the governments as Communists” not people’s decision. It is not worth improving relationships with them unless their government’s diplomatic policy is made by their citizens.
Second, it is just a waste of time to try to alleviate tension between Japan and South Korea. Japan has been supporting South Korea for a long time to maintain a good relationship with them. However, recent tension is caused by South Korea’s acts. To make relationships normal, Japan should not do anything for South Korea.
To concede, I disagree with the idea of improving relations with Asian countries.
提出して8時間後くらいに添削結果が来ました。
Some people say that Japan should improve relations with other Asian nations (A)including/such as South Korea, North Korea, and China. However, I (B_)don’t believe that is/think that is not(_B) the Japanese government’s priority. Rather, our nation’s priority should be the relationship with the U.S. and (C)others/so on.
First, it is (D)hardly possible/unrealistic/not feasible/impossible to have good relationships with non-democratic countries. One of (E)the communist party’s main purposes is to destroy capitalism. China and North Korea are not only communist countries but also countries(F)controlled/dominated by one political group or a dictator. Their animosity toward Japan is caused by the governments as (G)”Communists” (H), not people’s decision. It is not worth (I)establishing better/improving relationships with them unless their government’s diplomatic policy is made by their citizens.
Second, it is just a waste of time to try to (J)ease/loosen/decrease/relieve/alleviate (K)the tension between Japan and South Korea. Japan has been supporting South Korea for a long time to maintain a good relationship with them. However, recent tension is (L)triggered/caused by South Korea’s acts. To (M_)normalize the relationships/make the relationships normal(_M), Japan should not do anything for South Korea.
(N)For these reasons above/To concede, I disagree with the idea of improving relations with Asian countries.
指摘・添削箇所にアルファベット(A~N)が書かれています。
赤マーカーはの部分は、代替表現の提案です。
アルファベットに対し担当された講師の方から以下のような説明があります。
画像だと分かりにくいので書き起こしたのが以下。
From Rina, ゆるゆるさん はじめまして、こんにちは! トライアルのご利用ありがとうございます。 英作文とてもよく書けていました! 非常に正確な文法で書かれており、ネイティブが書くようなスムーズで自然な文章です。 指摘箇所はほとんど代替表現の紹介となっていますが 参考になるものがあると嬉しいです。