I think Information Technology should be used in the field of education. Let me give you two reasons why I feel this way.
The first reason is that information technology can reduce the burden of teachers and students. For example, having several textbooks every day is hard for students because they are heavy. If every student had an iPad that installed all the textbooks, this problem would be solved.
The second reason is that children must get used to information technology as early as possible. Now it is common for workers to use information technology because most jobs, which used to be done, were replaced by IT and a lot of employees use IT instead. This situation is rapidly progressing. That is why children must be immersed into Information Technology at their school.
For these two reasons, I think we can say with confidence that Information Technology should be used in the field of education as much as possible.
添削後
I think Information Technology should be used in the field of education. Let me give you two reasons why I feel this way.
The first reason is that Information Technology(1) can reduce the burden on(2) teachers and students. For example, having several textbooks every day is hard for students because they are heavy. If every student had an iPad that has(3) all the textbooks, this problem would be solved.
The second reason is that children must get used to Information Technology(4) as early as possible. Now it is common for workers to use Information Technology(5) because most jobs, which used to be done manually(6), were replaced by IT and a lot of employees use IT instead. This situation is rapidly progressing. That is why children must be immersed in(7) Information Technology at their school.
For these two reasons, I think we can say with confidence that Information Technology should be used in the field of education as much as possible.
Some people say that Japan should improve relations with other Asian nations (A)including/such as South Korea, North Korea, and China. However, I (B_)don’t believe that is/think that is not(_B) the Japanese government’s priority. Rather, our nation’s priority should be the relationship with the U.S. and (C)others/so on.
First, it is (D)hardly possible/unrealistic/not feasible/impossible to have good relationships with non-democratic countries. One of (E)the communist party’s main purposes is to destroy capitalism. China and North Korea are not only communist countries but also countries(F)controlled/dominated by one political group or a dictator. Their animosity toward Japan is caused by the governments as (G)”Communists” (H), not people’s decision. It is not worth (I)establishing better/improving relationships with them unless their government’s diplomatic policy is made by their citizens.
Second, it is just a waste of time to try to (J)ease/loosen/decrease/relieve/alleviate (K)the tension between Japan and South Korea. Japan has been supporting South Korea for a long time to maintain a good relationship with them. However, recent tension is (L)triggered/caused by South Korea’s acts. To (M_)normalize the relationships/make the relationships normal(_M), Japan should not do anything for South Korea.
(N)For these reasons above/To concede, I disagree with the idea of improving relations with Asian countries.
添削は非常に丁寧です。
修正点(E, G, H, K, M)だけでなく、代替表現(マーカーで表示)も紹介してくれます。
また総評として以下のようにコメントもいただけます。
講師コメント
From 〇〇, ゆるゆるさん はじめまして、こんにちは! トライアルのご利用ありがとうございます。 英作文とてもよく書けていました! 非常に正確な文法で書かれており、ネイティブが書くようなスムーズで自然な文章です。 指摘箇所はほとんど代替表現の紹介となっていますが 参考になるものがあると嬉しいです。
Some people say that nuclear energy must be used to supply sufficient electricity. However, I think nuclear energy should be entirely banned to be used as an alternative energy for the following three reasons.
First, it might be threatened by catastrophic events and war. For example, the massive tsunami at the giant earthquake in 2011 damaged Fukushima nuclear plants and eventuated in the most severe nuclear accidents. Also, nuclear plants in Ukraine were raided by the Russian army. It is impossible to prevent powerful disasters and wars from damaging nuclear plants.
Second, nuclear energy is not cost effective. Our society has not experienced actual decommission of reactors. It is highly likely that demolishing reactors will be much more expensive than what was previously estimated considering the additionally required processes for the environment. As a result, atomic power generation will be quite a big economic burden for our society.
Third, wind and solar power energy can be used as an alternative energy. It is reported that in the U.S. all electricity can be produced by solar and wind generation and cost will be cheaper than current energy sources including thermal and nuclear power. That is why nuclear power will not be needed in the future.
For the three reasons mentioned above, I think we can say with confidence that nuclear generation must be prohibited. The government must subsidize research for natural power sources to materialize sustainable society.
I think that Japanese high schools students should go on trips abroad for the following two reasons.
First, it is necessary to learn culture. It is common to hire foreigners due to lack of workforce. Thus, young people must understand the cultural difference. Traveling abroad is the best way to do that.
Second, traveling abroad is a valuable experience. When staying abroad they will learn different ways of thinking. As a result, they will think differently and assimilate into our modern society that is rapidly developing.
To conclude, I believe that high schools must take them to go abroad.
添削後(108語)
I think that Japanese high schools students should go on trips abroad for the following two reasons.
First, it is necessary to learn about other cultures. In many places, it is common to hire foreigners due to lack of workforce. Therefore, young people must understand the cultural difference. Traveling abroad is the best way to do that.
Second, traveling abroad is a valuable experience. When staying abroad high school students will learn different ways of thinking. As a result, they will be able to think differently and assimilate into our modern, rapidly developing society.
To conclude, I believe that high schools must take them to go abroad.
Some people say that genetic engineering is harmful to our society because of its ethical issues. However, I think it will have a positive influence on society in the future for the following three reasons.
First, this technology can treat diseases that are not curable. Even though our current medical technology is well developed, there are some diseases caused by genetic problems that do not have any treatment. Recently genetic engineering can correct genetic problems that patients have when they are born.
Second, it can increase our food sources. Genetically modified crops are now common in many countries to increase cultivation because these crops are durable against pests and some diseases caused by bad weather. In the future, further developed genetic technology can increase the amount of cultivation and solve food shortages in developing countries.
Third, genetic technology eradicates local disease in some countries. For example, Southeast Asia and African countries have been suffering from Malaria caused by mosquitoes for a long time. Genetically controlled mosquitoes that cannot reproduce is the solution to wipe out these fatal diseases.
For the three reasons mentioned above, I think we can say with confidence that genetic engineering is quite beneficial to our society in the future. The governments have to subsidize medical companies to accelerate these technologies
Some people say that genetic engineering is harmful to our society because of its ethical issues. However, I think it will have a positive influence on society in the future for the following three reasons.
First, this genetic technology can treat diseases that are notincurable. Even though our current medical technology is well developed, there are some diseases caused by genetic problems that do not have any treatment. Recently, genetic engineering can correct genetic problems that patients have when they are born.
Second, it can increase our food sources. Genetically modified crops are now common in many countries to increase cultivation because these crops are durable against pests and some diseases caused by bad weather. In the future, further developed genetic technology can increase the amount of cultivationcrops and solve the food shortages in developing countries.
Third, genetic technology eradicates local diseases in some many countries. For example, Southeast Asian and African countries have been suffering from Malaria caused by mosquitoes for a long time. One solution to wipe out this disease isGgenetically controlled mosquitoes that cannot reproduce is the solution to wipe out these fatal diseases.
For the three reasons mentioned above, genetic engineering is quite beneficial to our society in the future. The governments have toshould subsidize medical companies to accelerate these genetic engineering technologyies.
I think that children today spend too much time using smartphones.
First, it is harmful. Recently there are a lot of children that cannot stop using smartphones. It is just a waste of time and children must focus on studying.
Second, too much use of smartphones and social media causes bullying. Recently bullying on the internet is a serious problem in school and a big burden for teachers to deal with.
To conclude, I believe that children spend too much time using smartphones.
添削後
I agree that children today spend too much time using smartphones and I think it is a problem.
First, using smartphones for too long is harmful. These days, there are many children who cannot stop using their smartphones, which means they lose time and do not focus on studying.
Second, using smartphones for social media makes children vulnerable to bullying. Today, cyberbullying is a serious problem in schools and a places a lot of burden on teachers.
To conclude, I believe that children spend too much time using smartphones.